Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Sigh...I'm naive. First off, who ever thinks they are going to end up going down the IF path? No one. But we are. Because I was familiar with our medical history, we found out that IVF was our only way at "only" 6 months. After "only" a year of trying, we were blessed to be able to try our first cycle of IVF. I knew our journey would be over soon, this would work and we'd be pregnant with our miracle. But it didn't and we're not.

My new fear, add it to the list, is that we're just STARTING this journey. We're going to be one of those 5+ year couples on the IF journey. It's going to affect us and consume us for the next 5+ years where the journey may end with a life without children. As I looked at our finances this past weekend, I figured out that in the next 6-10 months we should be able to do the FET if we continue to save as we have. If that fails, it'll take us 26 months, or over 2 years, to save up enough money for another fresh IVF cycle. This brings up a whole other point...

We found out in April that IVF was our only chance. From April-October, other than timed-intercourse, no caffeine, alcohol or hot tubs, we couldn't do much else on the TTC front. When we started the BCP and shots, I was excited because we were FINALLY doing SOMETHING...making progress. Now for the next 6-10 months, it's back to timed-intercourse, no caffeine or alcohol (DH has it easy this time around since we have the three frozen embryos). It's back to the hurt of the pregnancy announcements, baby showers and new births. If the FET doesn't work, we'll be taking a 26 month hiatus to save and not do anything. I don't know HOW I'll be able to handle that, not to mention I'll be losing years and we all know that time isn't our friend in IF.

So the point of this post is that I was naive to think IF wouldn't affect me. I was naive to think IVF would work the first time. I was naive to think our journey that started so fast would end so soon. I'm on the lifer track of IF and I've learned my lesson.


Anonymous said...

I never thought I'd be at this for 3 years. I thought we'd for sure get pregnant with clomid...then acupuncture...then I don't think anything would do it. Not even IVF. I hope it's not a super long road for you. ((hugs))

COME ON BABY said...

Amen sister. Naive is my middle name!!!!!!!!! 34, 7 eptopic pregnancies....... Hang in there honey. Soon you will be able to follow my naive ass with my first and only round of IVF. It always works the FIRST time, right????

SLES75 said...

I think we're all naive. We all think the first month off bcp and really trying we'll get preggers. When we find out it's not that easy, we assume since Sally got pregnant after one visit with the RE, we'll have the same result.

Now we've been at this for 3 1/2 years and spent lots of $$ and still no baby.

We all think it's easy because for the majority of women it is....we are a select few who have been chosen to walk this path of IF. We have something those other women don't have. We have strength, and endurance, and a support system. If those other women had to go through what we are, they'd never survive.

I just hope to someday have the joy those other women have with my own children.

Kim said...

yesterday I saw a girls blog who wrote in her profile " i am engaged finally getting married and hope to get knowcked up on my wedding night". I laughed to myself, not because it doesnt happen, I know couples who it has happened to, but because I remember being that naive as well. We "prevented" for 6 months after being married at the age of 37 - What in God's name was I thinking?!

I surely hope the new year brings us nothing but good news and puts and end to this IF bullcrap. Nobody should have to wait this long. Nobody. xoxoxoxox

Jessica White said...

*hugs* it sucks...Naivety is never our friend....hopefully it won't be much longer of a road for you.