Back to Work

August 29, 2011
Back to work today…I woke up not feeling anything so I got disappointed. My boobs are still sore from PIO as are my hips, it kills me to sit too long. It’s like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t…I want to feel cramping because I know something’s going on but at the same time, I don’t because I don’t want it to be Flo coming. I emailed Bobbi to ask if she “felt” pregnant at all during the 2ww. At talking to her, Googling and freaking out, my conclusion: it’s a crap shoot and I just have to wait.

Last night was the VMAs and I’m SO over Beyonce already. Seriously? That belly rub was a slap in the face and then it was all over the ‘net this morning. I’m also REALLY missing you guys. I want to ask questions pick your brains and have your support but it’s my choice to keep things quiet so this is what I have to deal with.

I think part of my bad attitude was that once, ONLY ONCE, when I wiped yesterday was very minimal, little discharge…like so little that you wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t looking for it. Last time, I had a big glop of discharge in one wipe so that’s kind of freaking me out. Then I woke up this morning and no cramps, nothing. Around lunch time, I could feel minimal cramps but again, is this all just in my head?

Ladies, you don’t understand (well actually probably most of you do), I REALLY want this to work. If it doesn’t, I don’t know where we’ll go from here, whether we start over or say we’re done or what. I worry that we just spent a ton of money and there’s more to the problem than we thought but ugh…not going there, staying positive! This IS going to work!!! Only nine more days until beta…