Thursday, May 13, 2010

Not Shooting Blanks!!!

Found out another real-life and blogger friend is pregnant (that's 4 in the past week and I have 3 showers in upcoming week). As stated previously, it's bittersweet, salt in the wound...Yesterday was a horrible day! We fought like crazy because I was so upset about it and blah-I don't even want to rehash it, it.just.sucked! I'm trying to get my mind into the set of realizing, I will never have children. During church last night, I just watched people with their families and kept telling myself, I won't ever get to take a child for communion, I won't ever get to show them off at church, this is my life sitting alone in the pew while DH and his family take communion...5, 10, 15, 20 years from now, I'll be sitting there watching people with their children and none of my own. Okay, enough pity party, back to listening to the women in my office discuss their pregnancy and how awful it is...I'll never know.

2/18/10 9PM
DH just came home and HIS DOCTOR FINALLY CALLED HIM!!! Basically, his doctor told him that he's not shooting blanks!!! So that's good news, his sperm count is low but nothing that could keep us from getting pregnant. His doctor said at worse that they'll have to take his concentrated sperm and insert it into my uterus when I'm ovulating, DH didn't think it sounded like in vitro but we're not sure (this is what happens when DH passes along a story to me, I only get HALF the story). His doctor is talking to a fertility specialist and he'll get back to DH either tomorrow or early next week to give us recommendations about how to proceed. So in HIS doctor's terms tomorrow or early next week means...two-three weeks from now. This is a relief but now I'm worried that it's me...most of the time infertility is in the woman. Now I'm going to totally stress about MY doctor's appointment. I know I should just take the good news and enjoy it for the time being, right? Right!


Jill said...

With every announcement that happens, it will sting more and more. You have to understand that it will happen. You have to remain positive and you have to know that someday it will work.

I know that every minute you aren't pregnant sucks. Believe me. I know and you've read about it.

Just stay calm.


Wishing 4 One said...

I am so glad I read your first post cause now I get the post dates. This IF sucks bad, I know. Glad you stopped by today, adding you to my blogroll now so I can catch up with your journey. Oh and very good to hear you loved Cairo. Its cool, different, crazy sometimes, but a very cool city.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog! I just started reading yours and caught up but I know there's lots more to come. IF sucks bad. Bad! But I'm wishing you lots of luck!! =)

Jessica White said...

The thought of being alone PP said you have to remain positive. For us I just decided I wasn't going to let IF determine our future.

Don't you love how you only get half a story from the guys: GRRR!