Monday, May 24, 2010

Your Option, No S, Just Option

DH and I make our way to the fertility doctor. We walk in, wait about 30 minutes (really, does any doctor's office get anyone in right away?) then we get called back. They take us to a consultation room where they tell DH to wait while they take my vitals. I was pretty thrilled with my weight and told the nurse, "That's good." She didn't comment and looked at me like I was crazy, "Okay, well not for a person of my height but for me, I'm thrilled!" She laughed then we made our way back to the consultation room.

A friend of mine who has been through this journey told me to take tissues with me to this meeting. As I sat down, I looked at the desk and told DH what she'd told me as I laughed when I saw the box was empty...oh well, it couldn't be THAT bad, right?

So some doctor-in-training came in to meet with us first. It was kind of funny because she really focused on ME and not DH's sperm count. And she was also very vague with her questions, like what, you're going to offend me by being direct or asking about ejaculation? I'm so glad I'd done as much research as I had so I could understand what she was asking with her vague questions. I spent most of the Q&A saying, "OH! I think I know what you're getting at..." Finally, DH was like, "Based off what we know, we think the issue is with me." She then finally flips the chart, "OH OKAY!"

She leaves then the specialist, we'll call her Dr. Val, comes in, gives a quick review of our chart. I don't think I've mentioned this but I have elevated prolactin levels. My OB/GYN told me they were high but not high enough to worry about and that insurance probably wouldn't cover an MRI at this point to get it checked out PLUS I was still getting my period every month. So again, Dr. Val focuses on me instead of DH sperm count. She asks if I'd had an MRI and I explained previously mentioned and she looked at me like I was insane, "Well that's absurd! I absolutely think insurance should pay for it, I would write letters upon letters until they did so don't let that stop us." Well, I'm beginning to feel like we've got someone on our side. She then looks at DH's chart and then immediately says, "Okay, so the way to get your pregnant is through IVF."
My heart drops..., "Wh..what about IUI?"
Dr. Val: "It's basically pointless but if you want to try it, we can."

She then goes on to explain IUI as I feel the disgusting, uncontrollable sobs coming on. I point to the empty Kleenex box, " you have a box that isn't empty?" OMG! You would have thought I'd said, "CODE BLUE!" Both Dr. Val and doctor-in-training were up running around getting a brand new box and apologizing profusely.

I didn't say much as she explained IUI and IVF, just listened and soaked it in. DH was super sweet, reaching over to rub my back and my leg, trying to console me. Luckily, I was able to control the sobs as I hid behind the tissue, the barrier that saved me from a huge breakdown in front of these two strangers who just ROCKED MY WORLD even more than I thought it could be. I'm so thankful for the info I found the night before so I at least knew that was coming. DH did a great job asking questions since I was incapacitated.

At the end of the consultation, Dr. Val looks at me, "Why are you crying? What did I say to upset you?"
I removed my security tissue and told her, "Well, I'd read up on this and I knew what you were going to say..." Oh no, sob coming on...
Dr. Val took it from there, "Yes, that's good you educated yourself and I know it's just different to hear it from an actual person, right?"
Nods, "Exactly."

As we left the office and I finally calmed down, I told hubs I wasn't sure if I liked Dr. Val or not. He responded, "I like her...she's exactly like you!"

So there we had it, our answer.


Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry about your appt. =(

(I'm just catching back up so I need to read the rest of your new posts...)