We Now Interrupt Baby Making Time

In February, I woke up with the worst case of hives EVER! I thought that they would probably prescribe prednisone which is a steroid and I read online that it could cause miscarriages. So before I called my family doctor, I called my OB/GYN to see if it was okay to take that while TTC. While looking online for the office number, I came across where you can review your doctor. There were only 3 posts, two good and one bad. Of course, the bad one is what stuck out on me so when they called me back to say it was okay, I didn't really believe her. So I called my family doctor and got in to see him. He was about to put in a prescription when I explained that I was TTC and he was like, well, let's do a pregnancy test just to be sure. Okay I had just peed right before I went back so I didn't think I had ANYTHING in me and I barely did, it didn't even fill the bottom of the cup. So, of course, it came back negative which I expected it had so he went ahead and prescibed me the prednisone.

Now side note, he and the lady at the OB/GYN office both asked, "Is there a chance you could be pregnant right now?" I said yes, because I had just ovulated but deep down, I wanted to say, probably not because at this point (and yes, I know in February, we'd only been trying for 5 months) I felt like, we were trying during ovulation times, using ovulation predictor kits, having sex every other day and nothing was happening. The roller coaster and disappoint every month had gone from tears to being pissed off for a good day or two and it seemed like the more I couldn't get pregnant, everyone around me was. In February, I had 3 baby showers in one week.

It also seems that the more we try, the more I'd come across stories of parents that hid their babies under the bed and called the cops that they were missing, a lady who was so drunk and smothered her 6 week old baby or "16 and Pregant" on MTV and all I could think was why? Why not me? Why do those people get to have a baby but not me? I wouldn't hide my baby under a bed or pass out drunk on my baby. Why? Every night, I fall asleep asking, "Why?"