Jinxing Me

Long before, DH and I were even married, my mom buy stuff for her "grandbaby." Last year at Christmas, we'd been trying for a couple months with no success and I went shopping with her. She found some cute baby stuff and insisted on buying it for her "grandbaby." We hadn't told her anything yet so I just kept saying, "Don't...we may not have kids."

I talked to my mom on the phone Friday night. She knew about the absence of Flo and how upset I was. On Thursday when I talked to her, she told me that she's really worried about how I'll take it if IVF doesn't work and hopes that it doesn't impact DH and I's relationship for the worst. Friday on the phone she told me she'd gotten rid of all the "grandbaby" stuff. She didn't want me to think she was jinxing me. I'm not upset about this but at the same time it makes me sad. I can't make DH a father, I can't make my parents grandparents...it just sucks.

FYI-I wrote this post Friday after I talked to her and Flo hadn't arrived. I'm in a better place now than I was then. I have an appointment tomorrow for an ultrasound and bloodwork. If my Estradol level is low enough, which it should be since I've had a period, then I could start my stim shots as early as Friday!!!