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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Jinxing Me

Long before, DH and I were even married, my mom buy stuff for her "grandbaby." Last year at Christmas, we'd been trying for a couple months with no success and I went shopping with her. She found some cute baby stuff and insisted on buying it for her "grandbaby." We hadn't told her anything yet so I just kept saying, "Don't...we may not have kids."

I talked to my mom on the phone Friday night. She knew about the absence of Flo and how upset I was. On Thursday when I talked to her, she told me that she's really worried about how I'll take it if IVF doesn't work and hopes that it doesn't impact DH and I's relationship for the worst. Friday on the phone she told me she'd gotten rid of all the "grandbaby" stuff. She didn't want me to think she was jinxing me. I'm not upset about this but at the same time it makes me sad. I can't make DH a father, I can't make my parents grandparents...it just sucks.

FYI-I wrote this post Friday after I talked to her and Flo hadn't arrived. I'm in a better place now than I was then. I have an appointment tomorrow for an ultrasound and bloodwork. If my Estradol level is low enough, which it should be since I've had a period, then I could start my stim shots as early as Friday!!!

5 comments:

Kevin and Katie said...

I worry about the same things. I want to make my parents grandparents, Lord knows they need some shinning light in their lives because they just miss Colin so much. I also can't make hubby a daddy as much as I want, I can't will it to happen.
But we have a plan now ish. So we'll do our IUI's and continue that way, but we have a few back up plans too. It makes it easier to know that you have a backup plan. Not that the back up plan will work, but at the moment, I have one and that's all I will need.

Michelle said...

So much about IF and the treatments suck..and not being able to make our parents grandparents is a big one.
Good luck on this cycle!!

Shawna said...

Yay, she came. I am so excited for you. Let the good times roll!!

Kevin and Katie said...

so email me and let me know how the dr. appt went.

~Jess said...

*hugs* IF just sucks.