Saturday, June 19, 2010

You Can Always Adopt

Yes, adoption is an option but when we've only been trying for 9 months and you say to me, "Have you thought about adoption?" That makes my heart sink because it's hard enough to keep up hope for myself but I feel like you've given up on me too.

Adoption is expensive and if that's an option we decide to go'll be a long ways down the road. Plus, and this is totally just my opinion, but if God already tells me no you can't have a baby, my fear about adoption is rejection. What if we apply to adopt and get told again, sorry, you're not going to be able to be a parent...I couldn't handle that rejection. My heart would literally break into a million pieces.


Michelle said...

It really is a terrible terrible phrase. People have no idea the financial & emotional toll adoption takes. I honestly think people think you can just go to the baby store and pick one. Gosh.. if it were that easy.. we'd all be mothers.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, I feel you on this. People have no idea how hard it is to adopt (financially, emotionally, plus it's not fast). They throw this phrase out there like I can go to Walmart and pick one up. Most people have no idea how much it is either...NO idea. And I've been told multiple times "oh just adopt and then you'll get so-and-so." Not even worth a response, just a F U look.

Anyways, this is definitely something you think about and talk about on your own terms. When and if you're ever ready. My mom brought up adoption around the same time frame (9 mo's give or take) and it was a punch in the gut. She didn't mean it that way but I was NOT ready. I still thought I would get pregnant when I started treatments. Flash forward a year + later and now I can talk about it without hyperventilating. Lol.

Wishing 4 One said...

Thinking of you. xoxoxo

Lori LeRoy said...

So true. We have chosen to adopt, post-infertility, and have been matched with an amazing little boy. Unfortunately, it's taking years for us to get him. And, I still get people who say, "can't you just adopt from somewhere else?" They just don't get it!

Hang in there

Conceptionally Challenged said...

I think what makes it so hard, so hurtful is that they make it sound as if it were easy. And it's not. Not the decision to not have a biological child that is related to both you and your partner (which comes naturally for so many others, so perhaps they haven't thought about its value), neither the financial, emotional, bureaucratic part of it.
Hang in there. Some days, some comments are hard. I hope there are better times on the horizon.

Jessica White said...

My parents' pastor suggested this after we had told them about our dx...and they had just gone through adoption (they're in their late 40s, have 2 bio kids and just felt like adopting). It really does have to be one of the most insensitive things to say.