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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Let Me Explain

In another post, I wrote that is adoption is not something we want to do. I want to clarify that we are NOT against adoption, it is simply not something that is for us. Our minds may change, as they always do with IF, but at this point, adoption is not something we're considering.

For me, I guess it's mainly out of fear. We've already been told that we can't have a child naturally. If we adopt then we've been "told" we can't have a child through IVF/FET. I know with adoption there are lots of home studies, interviews, physicals, etc...My fear, and reason for holding back on adoption, is that I'm afraid we're going to get rejected again and I don't know that I would be able to handle that. I fear that our house wouldn't be good enough, our health wouldn't be good enough, our relationship not good enough. Sigh, I just wouldn't be able to handle that...

So I just wanted to clarify that in NO way are we against adoption, it's just not part of our game plan...for now. You all know IF is a daily game and who knows, our minds might change but that's my thoughts at the current time. When we come to that point in our TTC journey, we'll pray about it, discuss it and then DH & I will make the best decision...for us.

6 comments:

amiracle4us said...

You are right...your 'IF plan' can change at a drop of a pin. For us, moving to adoption brings the same thoughts and concerns of further rejection AND waiting AND worries. It is so hard moving through IF and knowing when to move to the 'next step'. Sometimes I wish I was that little girl either dreaming of just adopting or being a work crazed junky instead of always dreaming about having a baby in my womb kicking me, keeping me up at night from pee'ing and waddling down the street. Ugggg...someday, I hope beyond hope, that we get BFP!!!

COME ON BABY said...

One step at a time right sweetie :) xoxox

JC said...

I definitely know what you mean. And you're right, our plans always change and that's ok. I remember when I was about 1 year in and I couldn't think about adoption either and would cry and get mad if people suggested it. It's all on your own time and up to you and your hubby.

Christa said...

I don't think you should have to explain your current IF plan to anyone. I agree with you 100% and if you change your mind(s) then so be it. :)

Pearl said...

I don't know how many times I've changed my mind myself. I stopped trying two years ago, and then a year later I embarked again on IUIs. Adotpion, for now, is not a choice, given that neither of us is a citizen. But you're right, you don't have to make any decisions now if you do not want to.

~Jess said...

IF changes everything, we always said we'd never use donor sperm....and that's what we did lol

Hoping that you never get to that point of having to reconsider your plans :-)