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Monday, April 18, 2011

To Reunion or Not?

DH and I's 10 year high school reunions are coming up. We went to different high schools so hello two reunions, lucky us. Here's the DL on each... He REALLY wants to go to his but it's the same weekend as my half-marathon across the state. His suggestion is to drive there, run the half then drive back that night and go to the reunion. The reunion consists of getting together at a local bar. Fun, huh? His class had about 60 people in it, we see the ones we're friends with on a regular basis and he never speaks about any of the rest of them. He wasn't super involved in anything in high school...no sports, no clubs, nada. The place where the half is going to be is where I went to college, long before we knew of the reunion, we planned this weekend trip and I planned to go out with my girlfriends that night. I told him, why don't you just drive back (we're taking two cars anyways because I'm going up a day early) home and go to the reunion. His response? "I'm not going to my reunion without you!" Really? I won't be much fun. I don't know anyone and I don't drink so spending the evening at a local establishment asking why I'm not drinking and when we're having kids doesn't really sound like a good time to me. Besides, I think his classmates would be more impressed if I WASN'T there and he just bragged about me running a half-marathon that morning. Okay, on to my reunion...Me? I was Miss Involved in Everything, on every page of the yearbook, and knew every single classmate (all 300!) by name. I was Miss "I can't wait to see you at our high school reunion!" as we walked out the doors on the last day of school. Well, five years came and went and now our 10 year is creeping upon us. My reunion is at a banquet hall at a hotel, you must register and buy tickets and it includes dinner, DJ and cash bar. When I first heard about it, I was definitely going to go even if it meant missing our annual float trip (it's a Midwest thing if you don't know what a float trip is) with seriously the most fun people EVER. My reunion even has a website that is linked to the high school's site and you can update about yourself, your work, school...and family. The more I read through everyone's the more my mind was made up. We're not going. After I thought long and hard about it, and talked to many friends, I decided it was in my best interest not to go. I see and talk to the people I want to see and talk to. There's some drama with some people that I don't want to deal with. and when people ask me if I have any kids, I'd have to answer, "I have 3 totsicles and 2 dogs." And you KNOW people will ask and you KNOW they won't let up and you KNOW they'll talk about how great it is to be a parent and you KNOW they'll tell stories about their kids and honestly? I don't know that I can handle it. I look back in the past 10 years and you know, I'm pretty proud of myself for what I've accomplished. I graduated...twice (BS (Magna Cum Laude) and MBA). I lived half way across the US on my own, fresh out of college and landed an awesome first job but ultimately listened to my gut instinct and came back home where I met DH and got married. Bought my first house on my own. Ran a half marathon and a freakin' full marathon! And I'm pretty proud of myself for going through IF this far even if so far we've only had one failed IVF. While I'm proud of myself and I do see I have accomplished a lot, the fact of the matter is that in my IF mind, I feel like the night's going to revolve around not really your accomplishments but your family AKA your kids, which I'm totally cool with but I don't think my heart can handle it. Besides, our float trip friends, they know all about the IF and IVF, and they love us and support us and they won't ask us about kids at all or rub it in our face. They'll just enjoy DH and I and the adventure we'll have. Yes, this may seem selfish, but ultimately, it's the right decision for ME.

8 comments:

JC said...

I would have to agree with you. Go to the float trip. And try talking DH into going to his reunion by himself and you hanging out with the girls. I don't see a problem with that, especially since it's in a local bar and not like a fancy dinner/dance. We didn't go to mine. It was 2 yrs ago and I opted not to go for same reasons. Luckily Fred's graduation class was 6 so there is no reunion. lol

Angie said...

Hopefully DH goes to his while you hang out with the girls (thinking you'll def have a better time with the girls) and def say float trip instead of yours - my 10 year sucked. Still the same clicks, still the same drama, still the same ol same ol. Was dumb. And yea, if you didn't have kids, apparently there was something wrong with you - oh, and I wasn't even married so OH MY! Screw it, go floating LOL

Josey said...

I think I was a lot like you, and I LOVED going to my 10 year last summer. Yes, I keep in touch with those I care about most, but still, it was really fun to see another 50 ppl who I wouldn't necessarily ever email or call, but it was great to hear about what they were up to nowdays.

Just playing devil's advocate here. :)

Ps - totally tell your hubby he's going alone. Enjoy your 1/2 marathon!!

amiracle4us said...

why doesn't DH go to his, brag away about you and then you go on the float trip. I understand the lack of desire to be at your reunion...

Angie said...

aw I def think you're making the right decision not to go to your reunion. They're overrated. I just planned my 20th and everyone said they had a nice time but do I talk to any of those people? Naw. And I'm sorry DH is being a jerk about his reunion, I def think your half mary comes first.

Kelly said...

I totally understand where you are coming from. My 10 year was last fall. I really didn't want to go because that was right around the start of IVF #2. I didn't think I could handle all the baby talk. It turns out that I ended up being on bed rest from my embryo transfer and couldn't go. I think that was for the best.

The only reason I wish that I had been able to go was that my friends that I still hang out with all the time had a great time together. But we can do that anytime :)

Have a great time on your float trip and rock that 1/2 marathon!!!

Kevin and Katie said...

Don't go to either one. I didn't go to mine. Kevin's 20 year is comming up next year and we may go to that but somehow it seems different to go to his than mine. There are several people in my class id like to see but several I don't want to see. Your right though. You keep in touch with the ones you want to and the rest well, do you really want to pay money to see them.

Pearl said...

I don't see a problem in engaging in separate activities. I'm sure DH will support your decision. Have fun with your friends.