Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone is having a great Christmas! Today I am official 20 weeks which means I'm halfway through! Holy ****!!!! I mean woohoo for being halfway there but OMG! There is sooo much to do in just 20 weeks! This year's Christmas gift (20 weeks) is much better than last year's (see timeline to the right). As my Christmas gift to you, I figured I'd do my first belly shot:

It took quite a few attempts to get this one and the Princess Pup was a bit bored by the time we got this one.

This was one of the earlier ones where she was still interested and don't mind the u/s shrine in the background :)
DH says it's hard to tell that I have a bump when I'm in pants because I'm carrying so low so can we all say HELLO BOY! It's not official, we have decided we aren't going to find out but I'm confident that it's a boy (I'll do another post on that later).

My sweet DH got me a glider for the baby's room as my Christmas present!
I love it and can't wait to use it. First off, I need to find some space for it! I asked if I could use it to read in until the baby got here and he said sure. Okay, we're off to another family gathering then headed to my parents tonight for a celebration tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a great and safe Christmas! My prayers are with all of you and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

Our First Onesie!

I received our first official baby gift today. It was from one of my assistant camp directors. Here is a picture:

It's so cute and so tiny!!! I really have a feeling I'm going to have a big baby so I hope he/she fits into this. Thank you D for this sweet gift!

Stress Free Infertility

Hey guys! I'm featured over at Stress Free Infertility. Please go check it out! Happy Monday!

A lot to Learn

I called Dr. Mat's office yesterday and was thrilled when I got the return message. My AFP tests came back negative-woohoo! Here is a link I found about AFP testing that I found very helpful.

DH and I both happened to have yesterday off which is odd because we didn't even plan it! We headed to Target and what a trip that was. My thoughts/experience at Target:

1. My pants are pushing their limits. I'm trying to hold out until I go to FL in three weeks so I can shop with my mom but I'm not sure I'm going to make it. While at Target, DH and I looked at maternity pants and maybe it was just the selection because I was like no way do I need THAT much "band" right now! I know I could get a Bella band but I just decided to make do fitting into my pants that I have now.

2. We stopped to look at the baby section. First off, DH was intrigued by the breast pump-he's a nerd! I told him, I've got to start researching all the different brands so I know what to register for when it gets to be time. His response, "Research? Just buy a bottle!" Then we moved on to the car seat selection, cribs, changing tables, etc...let's just say it should be interesting when we come to that part of the process and FYI ladies, I will be doing a post (but not yet!) asking for your input on brands, items, etc...that worked, didn't work...all that fun stuff so start thinking!

3. We then headed to the baby clothes department because I'm going to a baby shower (they specifically asked for clothes). Now most of the time at showers, I'm a diapers and stick to the registry type of person, I never buy clothes. I kept holding them up and looking at DH saying, they're so tiny! I was also looking at what type of clothing and what size they were. DH said, "Stop looking at the 3 month thing...sizing for kids is so weird. Like this (holds up an outfit), what's 3T mean?" Oh dear...he has so much to learn! I tried explaining to him that I didn't want to buy this baby a sweater if he was going to be 6 months during the summer time!

Also, while we were at lunch, we started discussing girl names...we have no idea where to start on that one! He kept saying Bethsheba (hopfully joking!) and then would look around the room and name objects, "How about Carousel? What about Santa?" He also kept wanting Ann. He did mention a name that we both liked then realized that we think that's his cousin's name!

The whole point of going to Target was to get some ideas of something I wanted for Christmas so he could tell his dad what to get me. DH was like, let's tell him you want a rocking chair but I was like I don't want a rocking chair. Finally I said, just tell your dad I want a breast pump. Should be interesting what I unwrap from my FIL on Christmas morning!

Great Grandma

The other day, I came home to a Christmas card from DH's grandma. It is picture below:

It had a $10 bill with a note that says, "Start a bank account for the baby." Then the card says, "Blessing and I think it's "neat" that I'm going to be a Great Grandma. Looking for to seeing a Great Grand Child. Love to all." When DH got home from work, we had this conversation:

Me: "Did you see the card from your grandma? I thought it was super sweet!"
DH: "Yeah, it was sweet."
Me: "I guess I didn't realize that this would be her first great grandchild."
DH: "It's going to be her first time EVER being a grandma."
Me: "Um...she's YOUR grandma."
DH: "Oh yeah..."

Silly boy!!! I'm saving the card to put with the baby book and keepsake box whenever I start that...right now I just have a pile of everything from my RE, OB and any cards we've received on my dresser. I'm waiting until after 1/6 (our BIG u/s day) before I start to get organized.

Happy Wednesday all!

Whew! What a Night!

So last night I headed to bed about 9pm, fell asleep and all was well until I woke up with chest pain. I woke up DH and told him I thought I had heartburn (on the right side of my chest) so he got me a glass of water, checked my pulse, I burped and we were good to go. Kind of scary but I'd been having heartburn so I kind of expected it and after that burp-whew, I felt so much better!

We fall back asleep and I'm laying on my left side, right up to DH with the Black Buffalo, AKA the 100 lb black lab, right against my back. Basically, I was wedged between the two. I got up about 4:30am about to pee my pants and as I get out of bed, my right ovary was so sore and tight! I sat down to pee and was peeing in spurts because it wasn't really painful, definitely not cramps, but I could feel it. Almost felt like a pulled muscle, does that make sense?

I laid back down thinking it was because I was in that funky position for so long so I laid on my back until I got up. Still a little tight and sore but again, definitely not cramping. So just wondering if any of you ever had that? Think it's just from sleeping weird?

OH! And when I'm in bed at night, I feel like I have a little bump but then it's gone when I put on clothes. Weird...

17 Week Check-Up

Girls, I'm exhausted! Life has been so crazy hectic the past month. This past month has been super stressful with work, home, etc...To sum it up, there's like a million things that have to be done at the end of work before the end of year which has been delayed due to moving an entire building (which is no easy feat!), DH and I hardly ever see each other...he's super busy with work, hunting and he is no longer going to FL with me the week after Christmas because of work. I've spent the past 48 hours trying to figure out how to get down there myself and we won't mention his plane ticket that's just being thrown down the drain. So yeah...busy, stressful...that's how it's been!

Now moving on to my appointment! I got to actually see Dr. Mat...for about 5 minutes! Did another Doppler and the heartbeat was at 140. She said that was good but it dropped 20 beats since my last appointment (11/10) so I'll be doing some research on that. And really, that was about all that I did! I had blood drawn for an asp test, results should be back in a week. I scheduled our "big" u/s for 1/8 (I'll be 21 weeks). DH and I are still politely "disagreeing" about whether to find out the sex or not.

This appointment was a little whirlwind and I have to be honest, I didn't really like how I was treated. First off, I got there and the lady kind of acted like I was an idiot and had never been there...whatever, no big deal. Then I wait forever in the room, listening to the woman in the room next to me talk about her rash (glad I didn't go in that room after her!). While waiting the nurse tells me at my next appointment I'll be doing my gestational diabetes test. She goes to get the drink and brings back the paper. On the top, it states "Done during weeks 24-28 of pregnancy." So I point this out and say, I'm only 17 weeks to which she replies, no, you're 20 weeks. UGH! This happened last time too! She checks again and yes, I'm not crazy, I am 17 weeks. She says never mind and leaves. Then Dr. Mat comes in and it was seriously like the quickest appt ever and I could tell she was in a hurry. She did give me directions on what to do when I fly (deny the scan and get a full body search-SWEET!), did a quick Doppler and tell me my pants were too tight. Side note: Yes, I knew my pants were too tight. I was trying to fit into the size 12 jeans I've worn to every dr's appointment. I felt a bit like sausage but I got them on! Then before I knew it, she was about to leave and I was like, wait, wait, wait!

The past couple weeks, I'll be laying on the couch and my heart will beat really fast so I wanted to ask about that. Basically, it's normal for pregnancy but I didn't understand why because she was talking so fast and I was really tired too. When I feel that, I'm to check my heart rate and if it's over 140 then call. I think I can handle that.

Then we headed out to schedule the "big" u/s, hoping to do it the week after Christmas because DH and I are both off but, of course, totally full and the other 2 dates I'll be in Florida. SO January 6 it is but then the lady starts writing on the notes and she writes 1/9 and I'm like, umm....I thought you said the 6th? to which she replies, oh yes, sorry!

SO that's my story about my 17 week appointment! I have to go right a nasty letter to Expedia right now about how they falsely advertise and I need a nap!!! Even though it was a quick, hectic appointment, I'm glad it went well!

UPDATED: You might be thinking what the heck is an asp test? Well, how about an AFP test, sound better? Wow! AFP stands for alpha feto protein and determines if your baby could be a risks for having open spina bifida, Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18. It would help if I knew what I was talking about, huh?

What NOT To Say

What not to say to pregnant IFers that is, feel free to comment with anything you think should be added:

"How many?"
I'm pretty sure if there was more than one, I would say that right off the bat. For me, it's tougher to answer this question because it brings back the thoughts of Baby B and having to explain that.

"See I told you if you stopped thinking about it, it would happen." OR "Did you have to go through treatment?"
Yes, I've heard all the crazy stories too of people who just stopped thinking about it and the "pressure is off" and then it just magically happened. Besides you wouldn't ask people who got pregnant the good 'ole fashion way, "So what position did you use?" It's kind of the same thing.

"Next time..." or "When are you going to do this again?"
AH!!! Seriously, let me get through this pregnancy first before I even start contemplating a next time. At this point, I'm saying we won't do any more treatments. It's just so much on you financially, physically, emotionally...and to go through it with one child already (more power to you mamas out there that have done that)-whew! I won't say never though.

So that's my tips of what not to say to a pregnant IFer. And the "m" word is strictly off-limits and not allowed to be said in my presence. There's like a whole separate list of what not to say to pregnant women in general that I won't even get into, for instance..."it's the hormones."

Happy Friday all and I'm thinking of you today Bobbi! She's have a C-section today with her little FET miracle Tristan!!!

Real Time!

Congratulations! You made it through all my post and we're finally in REAL TIME!!! Woohoo! Now...I don't really have much anything exciting to say-lol! My next doctor's appointment is next week, just a check up and drawing (more) blood for an asp test to look things like Down's Syndrome and other things like that. Say a prayer for me please!

I'm still super weird and although I am talking more about actually being pregnant, I refuse to do any planning, purchasing, etc...My co-workers know that the "m" word cannot be mentioned around me. They are also ready to start trading shifts with me but I refuse to do so until after my next doctor's appointments. I've told my mother and my MIL there will be no planning until after Christmas (although my MIL has called me twice to tell me she has a crib) and my mom in general is driving me bananas. We did Christmas at Thanksgiving with my mom's family and she bought me a maternity nursing nightgown. 1. I don't wear nightgowns. I like pants and this girl wants her who-ha covered! and 2. I'm weird about what I wear in front of other people so I would prefer to pick that out myself. I know, I know...it's the thought that counts!

DH and I are pretty sure we have picked out a boy name. As far as finding out the gender, I don't want to find out (which is TOTALLY not Type-A, OCD me) but DH does. I also don't want to tell names because most of the people I know are teachers or work with kids so I don't want to listen to the next six months of, "I had a kid named that..." or other comments. Noah and Precious are out of the running (they were never really IN the running) because apparently my mom had a bad experience with people named that. DH has told some people our boy name even though I asked him not to SO now that may be changed and as far a girl name goes, I won't agree until the delivery so he can't tell everyone that either!

So that my friends is where I am now. Feel free to ask comments because I won't have as much to post these days. Thanks for all your sweet comments and support! You all, as always, are the best!!!

P.S.
Rabbit, rabbit!

MAJOR STRESS!

November 19, 2011
So this past week, we finally started telling people. Most people were THRILLED and couldn't be more happy for us. Telling DH's family was a major cluster as everything is with his family. His mom was excited. Then we went to see his dad and he read the little book I'd made and said, "Okay, she's pregnant, I get it." DH asked his brother if he was ready to be an uncle to which his brother replied, "For real? With A?" Umm...I don't think DH is running around behind my back doing IVF with another woman because we all know if he's sleeping around, he doesn't have to worry about knocking anyone up. We tried multiple times to call his sister and she never answered. His mom emailed me and said that my FIL told her and she's really excited. Yet she hasn't called DH or I either one.

This all went down last Thursday so as we were on the way home, I told DH not to slam on the brakes which started a WHOLE drama of everything getting blown out of whack. I had to work Friday night and DH stopped by. We hadn't talked since Thursday night. The only reason he stopped by to "apologize" was so that he could go out of town with his friends without a guilty conscience. There's a WHOLE plethora of reasons why I'm upset he left town that I won't get into other than to sum up that DH has ZERO time management skills and ZERO money skills. So since Thursday, I've been off and on weepy and upset and alone.

Saturday morning, I wake up and I'm still upset. My mom tells me I need to tell my cousins (these are the cousins that I didn't go to their mom's funeral because it was during my 2ww and my first beta was actually that day). I sent them both a FB message and here's what I said:

"Hey girls! Hope you're doing well. I wanted to apologize for not coming to Aunt G's funeral although I think she was with me that day. We were in the middle of fertility treatments and now I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant! I love you all very much!"

To which my cousin, W, writes back:

"Honestly, I was extremely hurt that u didn't come. This has been a tremendous heartache for us. And everyday is a struggle. I was happy to see your dad, sister and niece though. Congrats."

To which I immediately felt like shit and started SOBBING! Oh, did I mention I'm alone and can't talk to my husband because he's in the woods "hunting" (AKA drinking beer and partying with friends). Let me again recount that this cousin has three children by three different men, she didn't come to my wedding and I haven't seen her in...I can't even remember how long it's been. I made a selfish decision that I felt was right for my family and I stand by it. If I had to do it all over again, I would have. I wrote back and simply said, "I'll let them know." I emailed my dad, sis and mom and asked them to not speak to these cousins about me in the future.

So am I stressed? Umm...majorly! I know, I'm not supposed to be and I'm trying not to but it's not working! Maybe this is payback for me telling my co-worker the other day that I haven't really been emotional. Okay, I'm going to go take a semi-hot shower and nap. Hopefully, that'll make me feel better!

World Series!!!

October 20, 2011
Last night, my dad took my sister, my neice and I to our first ever World Series (and the Cards won!!!). DH and I had decided we weren't going to tell people until after we got off our meds. Halloween is the last day for PIO and all meds except prenatals-thank goodness! This girl's butt hurts! We went to dinner on Monday and DH and I decided that what better time to tell my dad, the biggest baseball fan ever, than at the World Series.

So we get to the game and my family is all dilly dallying around getting to the seats. I'm getting nervous and just want to blurt it out so I can get it off my chest. We finally get to our seats and get situated then I looked at my dad and said, "You know what? You're taking BOTH your daughter and BOTH your grandchildren to their first World Series game." Him and my sister were like, huh? Then my dad whispers, "Are you pregnant?" and I nodded. My sister and neice freaked out hugging me and I looked over at my dad who was tearing up. It was such a cool experience. Then I found u/s pics on my camera and showed them and filled them in on some stuff.

Then my dad said, "It doesn't even matter if they win or not now," which for my dad to say is HUGE! The rest of the night he kept looking at me and saying, "That's cool...really cool" and my 7 year old neice kept telling me, "I'm soo excited!!!" She even told my dad, "You're here tonight with 1 boy and 4 girls," then she looked at me and said, "because I want your baby to be a girl!"
She kept telling me I needed to be more excited but I'm still afraid to talk about it plus my back was killing me last night. It's still so surreal to me! I guess it's time I start realizing this is really REAL!

Oh, I got home tonight and my sister had emailed me. She said, "H said the best part of the game was finding out she was getting a new cousin and spending time with Papa." FYI-H is my neice. How sweet is that?